Tuesday, December 22, 2009

PEANUT BUTTER PUFFINS



Fratercula Arctica, otherwise known as the Atlantic Puffin. This flightless bird is cute, cuddly, and can swim like the dickens. Transform it into a spoonlicious peanut-buttery crunchtastic cereal and what do you get? Just about as close to enlightenment as possible without fasting until your spine is visible through your stomach (No offense to Buddha, but he didn't believe in spoons).

PB Puffs, as this cereal is commonly referred to in the street trade, are utterly addictive. And for good reason! Each spoonful contains the exact desireable amount of peanut butter, crunch, and aquatic fowl. Rumour has it that the CIA once dropped cases of Peanut Butter Puffins into Cuba in an attempt to destabilize the regime. Unfortunately for democracy, the secret police intercepted each case and delivered it to Castro's residence. Little did they know how truly nutritious and delicious Puffins could be....

Regime change aside, Puffins also come in other flavors.... like air and dirt. But hey, not everyone can be so perfect. Stick with peanut butter flavor and you will be happy, successful, and popular (in bed... hehe). Also, some portion of the profits made by Puffins, Inc. goes toward the effort to save puffin habitat. So you don't have to feel guilty when you toss the packaging back into the salty depths from whence it came.

IN SPOONCLUSION Your lucky numbers are: 2,5, and 69.


MAXIMUM SPOONAGE FOREVER!

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