The "dried plum", a staple of nursing homes and bane of those with functioning digestive tracts worldwide. Humorously enough, Sunsweet Growers, producer of 66.6667% of the world's commercially trafficked prunes refuses to call them that. Because prunes just aren't cool. "Dried plums," conversely are all the rage on the street and have been the subject of songs by "hip (non-replaced variety)" artists such as:
On days when ma poop just come out half-way, I eat dried plums - 50 Cent
Party in the Prune S. A. - Miley Cyrus (released in Europe as "Party in the Poo S.A.)
Granny's Prunehdise - Coolio
Electric Laxativation - A Tribe Called Quest
Prune Boy - Rihanna
Regardless of the musical merit of the aforementioned artists, prunes fit damned well on a spoon. Furthermore, there's a way to make prunes even more spoonable: prune butter. You heard me, not bune putter, but prune butter.
The Western intestines inside of you probably just tied themselves into a pretzel (BEWARE: Hard pretzels are NOT a spoonable snack. Soft pretzels are another story...), but prune butter is fairly popular in Eastern Europe, where its called lekvar. Prune butter simply takes all of the deliciously sweet tartness of prunes and breaks them out of their slimy, wrinkled, oldagehome skin. And puts them in a versatile, spoonable paste. Think the perfect compliment to cut the buttery indulgence of a pastry crust. Or the consummate medium to smear all over... well anything... Let your sick, sick, non-Soviet Bloc mind do the imagining.
Lekvar is nature's eat-out-of-the-jar icing, sans trans fats, unnatural pastel color, and grittiness. Yup, an all-natural sugar high you can make in a pot. Or pan. And eat with a spoon. Allow me to ask you the following question:
Why in the spoon not give it a whirl?
Thought so.
MAXIMUM PRUNAGE FOREVER!
