PANCAKES

Preamble: This post does not in any way indicate that this blog has any bias for or against breakfast foods. Pancakes are an anytime food. As are Puffins. And Refried beans. And soy pudding(s).

Pancakes: The anytime food. Before the deluge of digital tomatoes commences, I should explain that this blog was conceived in a dark dank dormitory at an early hour of the morning whilst consuming a serving of pancakes. With A SPOON. Thus, pancakes are responsible for everything we know and love that is life, liberty, and spoonable. Just think about it, anywhere you can get pancakes you can get a heady dose of America and also a spoon. Your kitchen for example. Or the stronghold of American pancakedom: IHOP.

Now, the weak at heart (and Un-American) might ask, "Well, can't pancakes be eaten with a fork and a knife?". To this dirty red I would respond as follows: Just try eating pancakes with a spoon. How does it make you feel? Alive? Free? Happy? Coincidentally, guess which three principles our great nation was founded upon. And now you don't even have to pursue that happiness. It's right there on your plate. (And spoon). To break it down mathematically for all of the deaf people out there:

Pancakes + Spoon = America - Pursuit

Or

Pursuit + Spoon + Pancakes = America



IN SPOONCLUSION: Since the pursuit of pancakes with a spoon is America, and America is ultimate. Pancakes are an ultimate SPOONFOOD! (Outro to "American, F**k Yea")

MAXIMUM SPOONAGE FOREVER (Death to Crepes!)